Meaning: “Proverbial question, querying the ability of any person or creature to change its innate being.”
(I will warn you, I will get carried away with this post and no doubt go slightly off topic, mainly about the idiotic species of men we’re dealing with)
So, can a leopard ever change its spots?
I am obviously not referring to the animal in this case, but of course the type of creatures we like to call “men“.
Undoubtedly a question that has passed many, many lips over the years, and sure to continue doing so in years to come. A question I myself, have asked many a time, one that frustrates the living daylight out of me, and one that will never truly produce a solid answer. People can speculate and debate the answer continuously and never get any closer to finding a reliable source.
As young girls we are brought up to believe in the love that exists in fairytales. The type of love where somehow, some day, we’ll be swept off our feet by the perfect guy and live happily ever after. A great version of love to believe in, but an astounding false representation from today’s reality. I mean look at the men we’ve got to deal with.
I like to break them down into two categories: ‘boys’ and ‘lads’. The term ‘men’ doesn’t even come into the picture.
Boys: The young guys who haven’t quite hit puberty yet. Love isn’t really on their radar and their biggest worry is wondering where their first spurt of stubble is. Then there are the middle age guys, you know the ones with the slightly receding hairlines and the dad dancing moves. The ones that are happily married or in relationships, yet are living with the “Peter Pan Syndrome”, the ones who never want to grow up.
Lads: The guys that can’t keep it in their pants. “Get on, get in, get out” is probably the best way to describe their relationships with girls. The guys that think it’s acceptable to grab your ass as you walk by, or make a crude comment. The ones that have the lamest chat up lines possibly known and go out with one aim in mind: to “bang”.
I’d like to think at some point they eventually grow out of it, but really there isn’t a hope in hell for romance these days. It’s all about sex and scandal. Everywhere I turn, there is some kind of relationship deprecation or affair occurring. Magazines are splashed with celebrity break-ups and divorces, and reality TV shows are just a one way ticket to promoting lad culture at its worst. Is it any wonder that romance and happy relationships are becoming a thing of the past and cheating is becoming the more popular thing to do?
What I don’t understand is regardless of age or scenario, if someone intends to cheat then do the honourable thing and break it off with the person they’re with. Why cause the heartache of bringing a third person into the picture when you can nip it in the bud right away and diminish any further pain? Why drag it out any longer than needs be?
When someone cheats on you, how can you ever trust that person again? You gave yourself to them wholeheartedly, they were your soul-mate, your other half, your best friend and they’ve thrown that all back in your face. And for what? A small dalliance with someone who paid them a little bit of attention and affection to their selfish ego-driven self. Seriously? Grow up. No matter how anyone tries to justify cheating, it CAN’T be justified, they LIED and in the process made a mockery of the person they were with. Could you ever take that person back knowing full well that they’d lied, cheated, broke any sense of loyalty and trust that they had with you? Could you ever look that person in the eye and not feel the excruciating pain they caused you? Personally, I don’t think it’s possible. Nor do I think someone can change.
In my eyes, a cheater will always be a cheater. Nothing will ever change that. It’s a mistake or a choice made that will forever cling, haunt and remain with that person. They will never be the same person you fell in love with, at the end of the day they screwed you over and should lose the privilege of ever being with you. They don’t deserve a second chance because they lost any right to that when they jumped into bed with someone else.
Sure some guys genuinely may have made a mistake and will forever try to make it up to you, but if the inclination was there in the first place, what’s to say it won’t creep up again at some point? If you take their “changed” self back, they will to some extent forever remain a shadow of the once perfect man you fell in love with.
♥
(For all the women that have made numerous excuses for the men that they love, if they want to be with you, and it’s meant to be, they’ll be with you. You are worth it and deserve the very best, don’t settle for anything less. Sometimes setting them free is the only way to save yourself.)